A Writer's Journey Part XIV

Title: A Writer’s Journey

Part XIV

I had three of my top runners miss practice on a Tuesday night.  I must say it was most likely a miscommunication in that usually, when a league meet got canceled, we sent the kids home.  But Coach Davis and myself decided we needed the extra training at this point in the season and so kids practiced that night in their gym clothes or uniforms.  The next day the three showed up and stated they assumed that due to the meet being canceled they figured practice was canceled too.  “It wasn’t,” I said flatly, “and they are having another hard day today.  You three are going to have to cram two hard days into one.  You’ll be working with me tonight.”

I led them over to the start line.  “We are running a 400.  The only rule is don’t let me beat you!”  This may sound cruel but I was overweight at the time and could only manage 1:40+ splits.  The two vets noted that I said it was going to be a very bad day and stayed just ahead of me, doing only what they had to.  They were saving their strength:)  A newer girl, Lauren Wyant, took off staying significantly ahead of us.  I thought, “That is impressive.  I wonder what is going to happen when she learns we are doing ten 400s?”

After two minutes of rest, we began our Odyssey again.  The two vets endured four, before they asked, their eyes narrowing, “How many of these are we doing, coach?”  “Ten total,” I replied grimly.  The two groaned.  Lauren Wyant was stunned at first.  I’m sure the word, “TEN!” was echoing in her brain.  She slowed down for the next repeat or two and that didn’t surprise me at all.  What DID surprise me is that on the seventh 400, she decided to go for it and sped up again!  Petal to the metal, she battled her fatigue, while roaring around the track.  She didn’t let up but maintained a fast pace through number ten (not easy to do, trust me!)  I thought, “This girl is made of tough stuff!”  Lauren Wyant was the sister of Katie Wyant, that had gone to States for JT, and Meghan Wyant, that had missed breaking the school record in the 1500 by a single second!  Yet at first, Lauren didn’t seem the same as Katie or Meghan and that is to be expected.  She is their sister not their triplet.  This was the first time I had seen something great buried deep inside her, something that was her very own.

At sectionals that year we were in the 3200 relay and we got killed by the first and second teams.  Oh, we were third with a bullet, but we were not even close to getting first.  But when I heard the time of the winning relay, a light went on in my head.  “Our school record in the 3200 relay team is X and I think we might have just beat it!”  I impatiently waited for the results and then went tearing off to talk to the girls.  Lauren and the others probably wondered why I was so excited.  They had come in third place not even coming close to winning.  “You girls just broke the school record!” I gasped, glad I caught them!  It took them so off guard it took them a few seconds to process what I had said.  In “losing” to the other two teams they had won a great honor.  Their names are still on the record board.  I think that internal toughness of Lauren played a part in that run.  It is hard to run a race like that knowing you are getting crushed by first and second place.  She and the others persevered and came out on top in a way they did not expect.

In writing, I think this happens too.  Sometimes you feel like your writing just doesn’t measure up to what others are doing.  You read someone awesome and think, “Maybe I should just stick to reading and leave writing to the professional wordsmiths!”  Even more discouraging, you look at what is out there at times and think, “My stuff is better than this, why can’t I get more readers?”  I remember one time I picked out a science fiction book and found it almost incomprehensible.  I didn’t know if the editor was on vacation early or the writer was related to the owner of the publishing house but it was TERRIBLE!  I thought, “Man, I could writer better than this!” and that was before I wrote “An Assumed Risk.”  Some of Marvel Comic book writers lately are so bad I think, “How is a person like this still employed?  All of my kids could do better than this!”  These feelings of “I’m not worthy” swing over to, “How can these people even be in print and how come no one has noticed me,” and back again. 

This emotional swing was killing my writing.  Then God reminded me of something.  I don’t have to get a major publishing deal to be a good writer.  I don’t have to make money at it.  I should just want to impact my readers lives.  I was like Lauren coming out of the sixth 400 repeat and decided I was going to go for it!  I am so much happier that I am not striving for money or thousands of readers.  Now I am happy if I get one new reader at a time!  One of the books that impacted me most as a young Christian was called, “The Shining Sword.”  I don’t think this book was a best seller but it impacted my life.  I was talking about my books one time to a missionary and mentioned “The Shining Sword” to him.  “I loved that book as a kid!” he said, excitedly.  “It made a big difference in my life!”  That is what I want my writing to do.  Make a difference in others lives, whether I have thousands of readers, scores of readers, or a handful of readers!  Maybe, just like her, when it looks like I’ve lost to the crowd, I’ve really won!!

*** Author Adrian Essigmann has eighteen books in print on Amazon.com, soon to be nineteen!  All of them are $.99 cents on Kindle, with the exception of “An Assumed Risk” which will be (Lord willing) an e-book before summer.  All of his books are available in soft cover too!  Type Amazon Adrian Essigmann and his author’s page should come up ***

Book of the Week – Wolf Hunting!! ($.99 on Kindle!)

“Ariel Wilson, ‘Jack’ to her friends, has a mother determined to make her a superstar. During the school year, she is in lessons, classes, and sports, but she never wins...at least at anything her mom cares about. During the summer, Ariel becomes “Little Wolf”, living with her father just as Native Americans did centuries ago. Then Ariel gets kidnapped by a group of men who want to blackmail her mother. These men are professional kidnappers who have abducted dangerous men before, so they’re not worried about some rich teenage girl. They should be, though, because they haven’t kidnapped a girl... they’ve got a wolf!”